damian + turion

[090106] The Law of Attraction - Frankie Chee as reported in Straits Time Life!People dated 9th Jan 2006

I'm confused. If women are upset over men going for pretty women, why do they take such pains with their apperances in the first place?

One grievance my female friends often regale me with is that men are shallow creatures who go only for looks. To hear them tell it, we men are driven only by appearances when it comes to choosing someone of the opposite sex for a mate.

That seems ironic to me, coming from the gender that fuels the billion-dollar beauty industry. After all, one would assume women spend all that money dolling themselves up in the hope that we men would notice. In fact, with some of the make-up and clothes I see on the streets these days, it would be hard not to stare, unless I walked around blindfolded.

I'm sure women appreciate the attention they get from men as much as we appreciate their beauty. After all, works of art, like the paintings of Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci, were meant to be ogled. It would be a pity to do otherwise. All right, let's not talk about Picasso here.

So ladies, dont blame us for being won over by your powers of attraction. We're just hapless victims of your aesthetic manipulation. I detest this labelling anyway, because men do not go only for looks. Yes, appearances matter, but they serve only as an attention magnet, much like how the design of a car makes us take a second - and closer - look.

Come on, which would you rather look at? A fiery red Ferrari zooming by or a silver Nissan Sunny that is one among a sea of many? Looks provide the first impression and impact. Think of how a woman picks a dress in a shop. First, it has to grab her attention as it hangs on the display rack before she walks over and feels it. (Fret not, I will walk over to a woman, but I wont be feeling around). It's only after that that she might try it on for size.

The same goes for men. We might get that first zap from how a woman looks, but we also need to try them on for size. But dont get me wrong - what I mean by that is simply that we do move on from looks to learning more about the person behind the face before deciding whether or not we want them to be more than just an acquaintance. The process can be summarised in a little rhyme which the Shakespearean side of me (however little of it) came up when I was discussing this topic with a colleague: We are attracted to the outside/Then we look on the inside/Before we decide.

ON THE FLIP side, men arent the only "shallow" creatures to walk the face of the earth. Just look at any screaming fan when David Beckham comes onscreen during a football match. SOme of them cant even tell a goal post from a corner flag, yet they are glued to the screen whenever he or say, A.C. Milan captain Paolo Maldini is playing.

No prizes for guessing why.

Another thing I've observed is that good-looking men have a higher rate of success in getting to know that girl sitting at the bar by herself. Brad Pitt lookalikes will probably be able to spend the next 20 minutes chatting and laughing with her, while those whose looks remind her of Shrek wont even be able to get the time of day or, in this case, night.

That said, I am reminded of a song from the past by Jimmy Soul, whose lyrics go: If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life/Never make a pretty woman your wife/So from my personal point of view/Get an ugly girl to marry you

Yes, a pretty girl may be a prized possession but, like a million-dollar painting, she can cause you sleepness nights. You never know who else has sinster plans up his sleeve to snatch her away from you. That will never happen if your girl is more likely to send chills down people's spines than have their hearts-a-flutter. It's pretty ironic, really. A beautiful face is something every guy hankers after, yet we all know it's more likely to make us worry.

Unfortunately, no man in his prime wishes to wake up and face a hag every morning. I guess we are being only human in having to be satisfied visually before we can achieve complete satisfaction, hence the need for, as it were, a gorgeous array of food to feast our eyes on before we taste it for a leily climatic dining experience.

I mean, why else would anyone pay more to eat at a place where they spend a longer time making your steak stand at the right anglee than they do cooking? Never mind that, ugly or not, whatever is on the plate will eventually end up as a digested glob anyway.

Sigh. The plight of men. Damned if we do, and damned if we dont. But, men, here's our saving grace. As the late British philosopher Bertrand Russell once said: "Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made by education." So it's not entirely our fault if we happen to be what we are. (Okay, Im making feeble excuses.)

But here's a word to women: Be patient. The day will come in every man's life when he learns, after some setbacks, that behind every beautiful object lies a dark shadow. In the meantime, however, if you ladies are going to slap on your war paint and put on your tight little black dresses, then dont blame us men for wanting to know you better.

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An article i came across in today's Straits Times.. some valid points made but overall think his views are slanting more towards a man's stand of point... oh well.. no such thing as equality between the sexes as envisioned by women... Nothing much happened today.. boring day in school except for the bag tag of war between Pei Xuan and Grace against myself, geez, my bag was almost torn in two and all because of... haha... stupid reason..

Sometimes I get highs, and I feel like nothing could be better. And other times, I am deeply depressed. Still, at other times, I feel totally indifferent and just feel internally calm. I'm not sure if I can formulate a real opinion to sum up where I stand in life.

Found this statement where doing a quiz thingy... quite true at least to me... reflects how i feel..

Tomorrow's holiday but I have meeting at Raffles City BK at 1230 hrs... yawnz...

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