damian + turion

[200606] hello, hello.. are you ok?

Am i feeling alright these couple of days? My brain's telling me im fine... i still talk to people, still laugh, still smile still do all the usual things i've been doing... but lotsa people around me are asking if im alright... especially at work, think i've been asked by at least 4 or 5 colleagues if im alright... so the question is, "Am i feeling alright?"

The answer: I seriously have no idea

i've been too quiet and not like myself these days they say... define myself to me please to begin with. Hell, i not even sure what im like, let alone you people... perhaps, it's the one where i joke all the time and smile and laugh and make lotsa noise? perhaps... how do you judge a person? by the way he/she acts normally or most of the time?

Do we risk the possibilty of taking the facade and recognising it as their true personality? how do one know if a person's usual mannerisms arent a representation of their true character and is simply a facade? Through the eyes, you might say... the cliche saying of the eyes are the windows to a person's soul... do you see anything in my eyes? Sadness? Depression? Hoplessness? Contentment? Resentment? Ambition? Determination?

Win asks if im feeling emo... i dunno.. perhaps...

Hazel thinks im feeling depressed or sad... perhaps...

What do I think? I think i feel ok... perhaps... who knows anyways?

Perhaps, im just tired... deep down inside so very tired... tired of? I dunno... a heavy heart perhaps... i said i felt drained... still do though i cant really put my finger on what's the exact cause... i think i know, but then again, i think i know so it might not be that afterall... i think im talking in riddles.. or maybe im just sprouting nonsense...

Bon Jovi - Bed of Roses

Sitting here wasted and wounded
At this old piano
Trying hard to capture
The moment this morning
I dont know
cause a bottle of vodka
Is still lodged in my head
And some blond gave me nightmares
I think shes still in my bed
As I dream about movies
They wont make of me when Im dead

With an ironclad fist I wake up and
French kiss the morning
While some marching band keeps
Its own beat in my head
While were talking
About all of the things that I long to believe
About love and the truth and
What you mean to me
And the truth is baby youre all that I need

I want to lay down on a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is
And lay down on bed of roses

Well Im so far away
That each step that I take is on my way home
A kings ransom in dimes Id given each night
Just to see through this payphone
Still I run out of time
Or its hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
Ill just close my eyes and whisper,
Baby blind love is true

I want to lay down on a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is
And lay down on bed of roses

The hotel bar hangover whiskeys gone dry
The barkeepers wigs crooked
And shes giving me the eye
I might have said yeah
But I laughed so hard I think I died

When you close your eyes
Know Ill be thinking about you
While my mistress she calls me
To stand in her spotlight again
Tonite I wont be alone
But you know that dont
Mean Im not lonely Ive got nothing to prove
For its you that Id die to defend

I want to lay down on a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is
And lay down on bed of roses

Yesterday's memories