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"i am free to be who i really am... no pretenses, no broken promises, no fear... just a life packed with hopelessness and unattainable dreams, 'cause im just livin' like i shld... my life..." everyone has hopes and dreams but dun they know that hope is the denial of reality and that dreams will forever be just dreams?

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

[260909] My core being

I think i realised something about myself. It's not a divine revelation or anything of that sorts but just that it gave me a better understanding of how my current life came about to be in this current state. Deep down, I resent (though it seems a bit strong but i really cant seem to find another word to substitute it) hassles. Hassles in everyday life. To be bogged down by details. In an essence to put in effort where it's due. Sounds as though im just being plain lazy but to a certain extend, i realise it now to explain why so many things are where they stand currently.

In crude terms, a relationship is nothing more than emotions mixed in with hassles, alot of hassles.
And the process in which to start a relationship is more often than not, a hassle among hassles.
Which might explain my current martial status: Single, available and pretty much not doing anything about it.

I've been told, I'm simply bo chap (cant be bothered) with regards to my social life and i agree. It's simply too much of a hassle to get anything going, not to mention sustaining it. Somehow my views with regards to my personal and professional life are shrouded in disparity. If only i could somehow transfer just a tiny percentage of my enthusiasm and work ethic from my professional life to work on my personal life, maybe it might be different but then again, who am i trying to kid? Bottom line is: I shun Hassles.


turion at 20:27