damian + turion

turion at 21:30

Thursday, July 27, 2006

[260706] Incompetence

It's amazing how incompetent a person can be at work... sometimes, i feel like im being surrounded by incompetent people... Take my co-worker for example.. let's call him LZ. LZ is 20 this year, been in the company for well over a year and earns $5.00/hr as compared to the usual $4.50/hr for part timers partly because of the time spent in the company... BUT here comes the ironic part... you WOULD think that being a senior and all he would be competent to a certain extend... I would.. afterall he's been in the company for over a year and he earns more than me... (so the managers have at least seen something in him to warrant that payrise)

WRONG

He's as competent as a newcomer would be to the company in my eyes at least... i mean... he has problems memorising the recipies for the drinks and he still asks me how can i memorise them.. erm.. like duh... it'll come naturally to you once u start doing it over and over and over and over and over.. (you get the point) again... geez... and he leaves his work station a mess.. I'm very very very VERY particular about neatness when im doing bar but seriously.. i thought Mat (another co-worker) was bad enough.. at least mat bothers to clean up after the busy period is over... and mat's pretty fast when doing his drinks.. but LZ.. he's messy, doesnt clean up after his mess and is agonisingly slow...

I admit i do have a temper and a short fuse at times.. but even so... he's really testing the extreme limits of my patience... my philosophy in life is simple.. Ren wu ke ren, wo xu zai ren.. (translation: You bear and tahan until you cant bear anymore and you let it loose) That'll be a day to see.. and the funny thing is he keeps on apologising to me.. geez.. apologise to me for fuck? it's your work station that's dirty not mine.. but you're delaying the entire flow of the bar.... argghh... enuff about work.. spent 11 hours working, no point bringing back the frustrations at work.. and to think he earns $5.00/hour... someone i totally dislike to work with and someone i wouldnt respect.. this brings up another point.. work politics... it isnt that bad at my workplace but there's still some basic resemblence of it... im kinnda clueless to it but supposedly there are lines being drawn across...perhaps im just immune to these sort of things but the things i see aint matching with the things i see... perhaps.. it's true, perhaps it's all Bullshit.. who knows.. then again, why should i even give a fuck.. the world's full of hypocrits.. let them rot and play the 2-faced assholes if that's their thing... one last thing, i still dont see the logic in how one of my co-workers who came in later than me, managed to get a payrise from $4.50/hour to $5.00/hour but in terms of abilities, i think im better or at least on par.. not to mention that the management also convniently overlooked at least 3 of my other co-workers who joined the company far earlier than myself... oh well.. life's a bitch and it aint never fair... i aint complaining.. im kinnda disappointed and it's gnawing away inside i guess... not taking it down lightly...

been a long time since i last updated.. blame it on work, tiredness or my general procrastination but in reality, there isnt much things to blog about my life.. my life is a routine now i guess.. work, sleep work sleep.. there's no clubbing experiences i can blog about seeing that im far from a night creature... and nothing to blog about my other half or love life when i have neither to begin with.. and work.. ah.. work.. aint nothing much to blog about there either... on a lighter note, pay day just arrived.. heh... it's always satisfying seeing the fruits of one's long, hard and very often overtime labour.. heh... KA-CHING!!! Always a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling when i deposit the cash into my account and see my bank balance.. ah.. the simple things in life... On the official timelog, i worked 94+ regular hours with an additional 12.5 hours OT, in total 106.5 hours in 2 weeks... roughly 53 hours/week? see what happens when work becomes ur life? Do i qualify as a workaholic?

With pay day, also came the bills... darn... always so efficient and on time.. and poof... there goes ur hard earned cash... still have makan and transport to cover and a little small indulgence on my part.. just bought a new jersey... set me back by $80.00 (heart winces) heh.. and a book. YES! A book!!! been months since i've last read a book and it's erm.. well... finished.. yah.. took me 2 days... a hefty investment considering i spent $16.80 on it and finished it in 2 days.. hmm.. perhaps i should stick to borrowing books from the library instead... food for thought.. but a small hard cover version of the classic - The last of the Mohicans caught my eye while at MPH bookstore the same day i bought this book.. arggh... and Mario Puzo's The Godfather has yet to be read... ah... the joys of reading...

Sent helmut off last thursday.. instead of a simple gathering i came to witness the sending off of a popular idol or something... his sending off party including his family numbered close to 40 with 4 different cliques of friends... i mean woah.. well he does have alot of friends i admit but even im overwhelmed.. but his flight got delayed... due to SIA overbooking his flight, in the end he was pushed back to the 2300 hrs flight but SIA being SIA, refunded him $500.00, pushed him up to business class and even gave him a food voucher for any restraunt in Terminal 2... i mean wow... if that happens to any person who gets their flight overbooked and travel plans screwed... SIA can overbook and screw my flight details anyday man.. it seems everyone's leaving... Grace, Helmut... and those that work, work, those that go NS, go NS... and there're those who're continuing to study.. oh well.. there goes the class, i think i'll never see 3b01 intact again... people come and go... more so for poly friends than others...

What to do with my life.. i see my friends who have visions and ideas on what they want to do in the future.. i see emptiness and darkness shrouding my own future... what do i want in life? where do i see myself in 5 or 10 years? what do i want to do? I have no answers to either of the 3 questions... im at a crossroad and im seriously lost.. previously i had naively thought that signing on was my definite future and even calling but now im not so sure anymore... the visions of glory, pride and grandeur vanished in an instant the moment the realisation of the fact hit me... im going to serve NS as a fireman, not a soldier... no OCS, no possibility of signing on, not even a chance to set foot on Pulau Tekong... some would congradulate me on hitting the jackpot, afterall it's widely known that serving NS in the SPF or SCDF is better by a longshot afterall, it's more slack and there're more off days.. but but... sighz...

Tried going down to the SAF career centre and asked around with regards to signing on but the information they provided were already known to me through browsing their websites... and to think it's called a career centre.. i thought that i would be guided through the process and have any of my doubts answered guess the saying that the SAF's fucked up is pretty true in all senses of the term...

Area Passing Out Parade this coming saturday... after 4 and a half years of serving the corps as a Cadet Inspector and almost 8 and a half years since i joined it... it has come to this day... this day that i bid farewell to the corps that has for so long been a part of my life... there must be a time to let go.. this time is as good as any... It has enriched my life no doubt... but regrets still linger... will i miss it? I guess... the interaction with my kids being the hardest to let go i guess... oh well.. we go through phases in life.. this is but one of them...

counting down to my next phase in life - NS in SCDF 7 weeks and counting...

turion at 00:36

Sunday, July 09, 2006

[090706] Graduation, friends forever?

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

La, la, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la

We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

turion at 15:17

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

[050706] A day to remember

First things first, i've finally Graduated!!! It's kinnda surreal going up on stage and receieving my diploma and as i looked at it, i get reminded of all the trials and tribulations i had to undertake to get it. Just a piece of paper i remind myself but it is the single most important piece of paper i'll ever own in my life. My passport to life i like to call it...

It was fun meeting up with all the peeps from 3b01, glad to see almost 90% of the class turned out... when i glanced over to see my buddy class (3b02) with less than 50% attendance, i cant help but feel relieved and glad that i am part of a happening, united and fun class like 3b01... you guys are the best... we're simply the best! we're better than all the rest!

Only thing was couldnt find my mum after the graduation ended so in the end didnt managed to take a graduation photo with her... kinnda upset about that but managed to take tons others with the lecturers and the class... as we waited for the ceremony to begin, caught a short video on the upcoming SP muscial titled SUPERSTARS, nice to see Esther being featured during the interview... most prob wont be able to catch her in action when it's running in October.. but nonetheless, if you're reading this, sorry I wont be able to make it... Wish you all the best! Blow the audiences' minds like i know you can! Im sure you'll be wonderful! Go Esther go! ;)

Seeing ZC claim the top spot in our cohort and seeing him receiving the numerous awards really made me feel glad and proud for him... you earned it bro... im sure your future will be a bright and exciting one... all the best in the future man... went for lunch at Swensen's in Holland V before heading to clementi for K-box... really had a great time tonight... as usual, how to have a lousy time when im out with all of ya? haha... 3b01 is simply the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. period.

Then came the excitment when i reached home and opened the letter box... a green letter addressed from MINDEF. With awaited breath, i carefully opened the letter... months of waiting results in this single moment as my eyes gobbled the words on the letter i hold in my hands...

You are hereby under section 10 of the Enlistment Act (Cap 93), to report for enlistment
on 12th Sep 2006 (Tue) at 08:30 hrs
to Singapore Civil Defence Force (SCDF)

My first thought: Shit
My second thought: Shit
My third and subsequent thoughts: Alternating fuck and shit

SINGAPORE CIVIL DEFENCE FORCE??!?!?!??! WTF!??!?!?!? shit shit shit shit shit shit... of all things that would befall me, this would be the last thing i'll ever thought i'll get into... i dun want to go into SCDF... some people might snigger and others might congradulate me but as crazy as i may sound or be, i wanna go thru BMT in Pulau Tekong and go thru all the shit and nonsense my brudders have been telling me about over the past year and a half... i wanna wear the army no. 3, not the blue coveralls... darn, damn... shit..

what to do now?

My previous plans to go thru BMT and experience life in the SAF before deciding has been disrupted... now what?

No idea.

Shit.

No plan B to fall back on.

All of the people to be enlisted, i had to be the 'lucky' ones to kenna SCDF... fuck...

shit...

Need to really consider and think.. brudders! to Me! Part with me your guidance and advice!!!!

Turion deep in thought

turion at 23:33

Sunday, July 02, 2006

[010707] Shagged

Yep, the post said it all... too tired right now... 6 hours of sleep in the last 50 hours including 20+ hours of work and even after catching up on my sleep, im still feeling tired... Woke up not long ago and off i go again to work...

work... sleep... work... sleep... on and on it goes

England lost, so did Brazil... Atrium chalet tomorrow, 3rd and 4th of July... Graduation on the 5th...

Miss my Yishun Kakis... the eating, the suppering, the chilling and the hanging out... let's meet up soon brudders...

turion at 12:31

Yesterday's memories

My past