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"i am free to be who i really am... no pretenses, no broken promises, no fear... just a life packed with hopelessness and unattainable dreams, 'cause im just livin' like i shld... my life..." everyone has hopes and dreams but dun they know that hope is the denial of reality and that dreams will forever be just dreams?

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Sunday, January 28, 2007

[280107] White Dog Cafe

Vivocity was the venue for the latest 3b01 outing which in the end became more of an informal gathering between just 6 of us... Karen, Nicky, PH, Gracie and Helmut all managed to come as we came together to celebrate mut's bday as well...

As Gracie, Nicky and me waited for the rest to slowly, we bickered good naturedly on a spot to have our dinner... walked on and on and finally decided on White Dog Cafe to have our dinner... walked in and was pleasantly surprised at the glass panel seperating the kitchen and the rest of the shop... could see the chefs preparing all the food... open concept.. cool.. the waiters and waitresses were all helpful and always with a ready smile... thumbs up!

Decided on the triple mushroom soup, Chicken sausage pasta and a Marguerita pizza, a delightfully thin crusted pizza with tomato basil base with mozallera cheese to be shared... though the turnout was small, it was still enjoyable with Helmut's attempts at his supposed 'jokes' and nicky's quest to understand the complexity of the male mind... lol... the meal was finished with 2 small warm chocolate cakes to formally celebrate helmut's bday.. happy 23rd birthday bro...

Joe's wedding coming up at the end of the week... need a new shirt... hmmm... need to go reccee around for bargains again.. heh.. booking in tonight, muster parade tomorrow... back to BRTC to resume my life as a SK warrior... cheers...

Imogen Heap - Speeding Cars
Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violence, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head'
Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah
Sleeping pills, no sleeping dogs lie never
Far enough away
Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt
I’ve watched you slowly winding down for years
You can’t keep on like this
Now is as bad of time as any
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t kill yourself'
Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah
It’s all okay by me
It’s all okay by me
It’s all okay by me
It was a long time ago
It’s all okay by me
It’s all okay by me
It’s all okay by me
It was a - long - time - ago
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head'
Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t kill yourself'
Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeah

turion at 15:32

Saturday, January 27, 2007

[270107] Be punctual my friends...

Punctuality is defined as the quality or state of being punctual or strict observance in keeping engagements; promptness. I've realised of late that i've begining to lose track of time more and more for reasons known or unknown... i used (note the bolded and underlined word) to pride myself on being a punctual person to the point of being at least 15 minutes early for any appointments or engagements.

BUT the thing is... i hate to wait for people and unfortunately, my circle of close friends often test my patience to the limits with their own troubles with time management... and over time, i've allowed myself to fall into this habit of purposely arriving late so as to counteract against their usual lateness and i guess the habit has caught on...

HABITs... are hard to get rid of... take away the H you're still left with ABIT, u take away the A and you find yourself looking at BIT when you finally decide to kick away the B, you realise you're still stuck with IT! So ladies and gents... habits are nasty little critters that cling onto you... Moving on...

In the blink of an eye, my first intake of recruits is going to pass out in 4 more weeks... life as an instructor passes by pretty fast... People look to my life as an instructor as being slack and easy... yes to a certain extend, i do agree with them that being an instructor is pretty straight forward and at times, not very demanding... both physically and mentally... but they only see the times when we come and go as we like to the canteen, the tekan-ing of the recruits, us scolding and shouting at them... they dont see the seemingly repetitive life we lead, the miserable allowance we get for work that we never get rewarded with and overall being stuck in a vocation which is pretty much thankless... we are the sai kang warriors of BRTC, the underpaid, the underappreciated, the underqualified and the overworked...

Had a small gathering with some former workmates from tcc on wedneday, to tie in with Liyana's so called farewell dinner/gathering/party... had a simple dinner at Sakura and i guess that's probably the last time im ever going to Sakura for food of any kind... it's decent and edible but for the same prices, i am sure that i can get better tasting, looking and fulfilling dishes elsewhere... moved on to DOME at Shaw House where once again, the Iced Chocolate with Gelato did not disappoint... took some time to reminisce about times working in tcc and generally just catch up... possible job opening at MARCHE for me... heh... back to F n B again... left orchard around 1125 and by the time i reached Boon Lay, i knew i was screwed...

The reason why being punctual and able to manage time properly helps - i arrived at the gate at 0010 hrs... 10 minutes after the gates closed... normally, the guards would just quickly usher in those late comers but unfortunately they were under audit that night and they had to strictlty adhere to protocol... so i was stuck outside of camp at 0010 on a thursday morning... picked my sorry ass over to the bus stop and started the longest 4 hours of my life... i just sat there listening to songs for 4 hours, tried to sleep but couldnt, thought of scaling the fence but thought better of it and abandoned the idea as soon as it appeared... seconds, minutes ticked painfully by... finally managed to book into camp at 0400 hrs... quickly went back to bunk and caught 3 hours of sleep... see how being punctual would have saved me the agony and riducule of being stuck outside of my own camp for 4 hours?

Be Punctual my friends....


turion at 16:00

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Frankie J - Pensando En Ti

Yo me sentido ahogado en esta situacion
te he vuelto a perder.
Ahora te as marchado sin decirme adios
no lo puedo entender.

Yo no acepto que este sea tu ultimo adios
soy un pobre moribumdo lleno de dolor
como duele perderte amor.

Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
buscando la manera de llenar tu corazon.
Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
desesperadamente perdiendo la razon.

Te suplico que nos des otra oportunidad
no seas tan cruel.
No hay nada que este amor no pueda superar
y lo sabes muy bien.

Yo no acepto que este sea tu ultimo adios
soy un pobre moribumdo lleno de dolor
como duele perderte amor.


Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
buscando la manera de llenar tu corazon.
Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
desesperadamente perdiendo la razon.


No me dejes solo vuelve porfavor
que solo un beso tuyo sanara este corazon
y si tu vuelves te entrego
mi vida, mis noches, mis dias y todo lo que te falto.
Ya no demores te pido no lo pienses mas.
Te juro no te arepentiras.
Sentiras el calor que algun dia te hizo vibrar de emocion.

Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
buscando la manera de llenar tu corazon.
Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
desesperadamente perdiendo la razon.

Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
buscando la manera de llenar tu corazon.
Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
desesperadamente perdiendo la razon.

aha, aha, aha....

pensando en ti,
pensando en ti,
pensando en tiii......

aha, aha, aha,...

pensando en ti,
pensando en ti,
pensando en tiii...

turion at 20:15

[200107] Opportunities

Been a long but uneventful week, camp life is still the same thing day in and day out... just that the lessons are coming up hard and fast with days packed with lessons back to back from 0800 to 1730.. shag man... next week also same thing, but instead of conducting the lessons in camp, we'll be heading to Mandai Training Village instead... shagness awaits me when i book in... sianz...

I've always known that in any working environment, there's bound to be friction, office politics and power struggles going on, but looking back, i realise that my various working experiences and even my own NS experience has each shown me more and more of such 'things' progressively... such events are never productive and yet, behind each facade that is a smile, daggers are primed ready to strike... and who suffers in the end? US... yes US.. those at the bottom of the food chain... in my case... the NCOs... in eventuality that the CSM, RSM, OC and PCs go out on an all out war... the casualties would only be the instructors... cause as the big man put it, we live and die by his word... im sick of all this...

Back to the heading itself... went for interview at St James Power Station hoping to get job at Dragonfly with Redfox's recommendation, in the end... waited for over 45mins then managed to see Steven, the manager... filled in the application form and waited somemore... in the end, didnt even get interviewed as i already got the job... reason being he didnt feel the need to scrutinze the Part timers that much provided i can get a letter from my OC stating that i can work...

DAMN

Seeing how my OC is so bo chap, guess i have to forgo this first job opportunity... went back to camp thinking about it and in the end, decide that maybe i should be heading back to tcc to work... since Firrdaus is also working back at his outlet... maybe can approach Tahir... oh well... i would be going back to a familiar working enviornment... Friday was the day of opportunities... spurned or yet to grab?

Jit Chern messaged inquiring about my interest in his position as a research assistant at NTU/NIE... first thought was that im not really cut out for lab work over the long run but he says it really isnt purely lab work and that though tedious, it's rewarding and the pay isnt that bad... food for thought

Met up with Redfox, Blackie, YF, SQ, Kenny, Sunnymonk & JJ to celebrate monk's & SQ's birthdays... went to this KTV pub (THE RED PUB) along neil road which was opened by the sis of SQ's friend... been sometime since i've seen some of the guys.... monk is mobile now... with his yellow Honda Jazz but can see he's also quite stressed bahz with all the work... anyways, the night was spent playing card games, drinking games and KTV-ing with Martell being our thirst quencher... afterwhich, SQ went back to hostel, Kenny & me both headed home while the rest expectedly went ahead to MOS for more poison, music and grooving...

monk sounded me out about helping him out in his fledgling business as a salesman in selling petfood to petshops in designated areas... purely based on commission... hmmm... petfood aint never that easy to sell more so to sell on a large quantity to petshops... but it does give me the chance to improve my pathetic fianancial position... food for thought

Kenny on the trip back too sounded me out about helping him in his current profession... in what capacity and what job scope he didnt say, we both agreeing that our frames of mind were in the midst of stoning and as such not suitable for such a conversation... agreed to perhaps meet up sometime to perhaps discuss any possibilites... food for thought

"opportunities are never lost, they are taken by others"

turion at 10:41

Sunday, January 14, 2007

[140107] Heaven weeps

It's been raining since like forever... not that im complaining... i absolutely adore rainy weather... though it does make travelling a hassle and makes everything wet... but hey, nothing's ever perfect is it? This monsoon season is one of the heaviest i would say...

There's flooding everywhere.. well over in malaysia at least.. on the bus to KL, i passed fields after fields after fields that are either waterlogged or flooded... floods everywhere man... we were joking that perhaps KL would be flooded as well.. haha..

My first trip to KL, was pretty okay i guess... though it took much much longer than what my friends and i expected.. we took the 1030 bus but only arrived in KL at ard 1630, almost 6 hours... in contrast we left KL at 2230 but reached singapore at 0230... the jams didnt exactly help either... reached Pertaling and immediately started to browse the shops for items of interest... it's something like a hugeass pasar malam... took us quite some time to venture through the squeezy walkways but inventually we settled to start our buying spree with shoes... 45 mins later, all 4 of us emerged with 4 new pairs of shoes after much bargaining... 60 ringgit a piece... good deal... so it became a cycle... walking from shop to shop stopping when either one of us found something we liked... bargained, bought and moved on... by 2000 hrs, we walked to Nando's, a mexican restaurant for dinner...

the trip yeided 2 sweaters, 1 polo tshirt, 1 tshirt, 2 bottles of perfume and a pair of shoes... which cost me no more than $200, including transport, lunch and dinner... hmm... next time round, thailand perhaps? haha...

Oasis - Stop Crying your Heart Out

Hold up
Hold on
Dont be scared
Youll never change whats been and gone

May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Dont be scared (dont be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you needAnd be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (Im not scared)
Youll never change whats been and gone

Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of us stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out

turion at 18:16

Saturday, January 13, 2007

[130107] Poor, poorer, poorest, broke

Seriously, people say you're able to save during your time in National Service. I for one have no doubt that you're able to do that at the expense of your social life and personal entertainment especially if you're a recruit living on the supposedly generous allowance of SGD$350/month. If you're lucky enough to be a specialist (SGT) or an Officer (2LTA, LTA), i shouldnt see any reasons why you cant save given that your pay is twice or triple to that of a recruit's.

Back to the heading, im starting to tap into my savings from my time working at TCC and though it's inevitable at one point or another, the condition of my finances are a point where it worries me somewhat, not to say i dont have enough to spend or anything. I do, just that i choose not to... at least i have not yet been to the point where i have actually no money, whatsoever. im thankful for that...

Attending birthdays, shopping trips and even a friend's wedding all contribute to the the expenses during the weekends. Im always amazed at the amount of money i spend when im out of camp... at least i stay in camp most of the time, cutting the transport costs but still... really gotta control my purse strings more...

Heading up north later over the causeway to KL with some guys from the company, hopefully will be a fruitful day trip... what are we going there for, you ask? Er.. to go shop actually.. darn... oh well, so much for controlling my purse strings...

turion at 08:21

Friday, January 05, 2007

[050107] bookworms

been a loooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggg day in camp today... firstly was the fact that i was CDI or company duty instructor secondly was that the interviews for firefighters and SRB was conducted today... in the end... had to sit around doing nothing while waiting for the recruits to be interviewed...so tiring and frustrating seeing that the interviewers took their own sweet time in interviewing the recruits... to sum it all up, really drained and pissed at the end of the day...

booked in on tuesday, but met up with Firrdaus and Moosa to go to a booksale at Singapore Expo, books going at dirt cheap prices, 3 for $10 or $5-$8 each... where else do you get to find such bargains? in the end, after spending around 2 odd hours rumaging through the tons of books they had there, i left singapore expo $65 poorer but with 15 new books in tow... yep, i spent $65 on books, 15 at one shot somemore, oh well.. couldnt pass up the bargain and the books really caught my eye...

Decided to book in straight away as we were both too lazy to go back home and then come out and book in again... shopped around jurong point for stuff to help make more storage space available in my locker... I finally have a locker of my own, no more sharing of lockers and damn it feels good especially knowing that it's my own personal space to store my belongings...

Headed back out to Jurong Point to catch Night at the Museum with Firrdaus and Furhan, i had caught the trailer a while back and had heard from my friends that it was a good film, it certainly didnt disappoint... though predictable as the movie turned out to be, it did have its moments of pure spontaneous laughters... Robin Williams though was a tad disappointing in his role as a wax figure of the 26th American President... perhaps it was due to the fact that in this movie he was the supporting actor and not the usual lead actor we're usally so accustomed to seeing.... a good film indeed for a great laugh...

Night at the Museum - 3 popcorns out of 5

turion at 19:46

Monday, January 01, 2007

[010107] 1st post of 2007

I slept thru the night, slept in 2006 but woke up in 2007... heard from my bro that there were over 170,000 people gathered at Marina Bay to catch the fireworks display... geez, how uncomfortable it must had been... lucky i didnt decide to head down there with friends... opted instead to do the sensible thing, slack at home...

I've been talking about reflecting on 2006 so have ya? I did as i read thru the archives... from jan all the way til the latest posts... it's kindda sombering to read thru events of old and u recollect the events... how i was studying for my tests, my results, the start of my working life at TCC, my graduation, the final closing of a previously unclosed chapter between her and me, my enlistment, my Passing out... did i learn anything over the past year? perhaps... who knows?

2007 - A brand new year... new year full of challenges and experiences and hopefully something fruitful for me personally... things to do this year? haha... i dun bother with new year's resolutions... what happens will happen... C'est la vie my friends...

Attended Garcie's 21st birthday at Orchard cineleisure on saturday... a really rowdy crowd mainly made up of her friends from poly (3b01 & CSCCians) plus her church, pri & sec sch friends... 1st time seeing her in a dress... haha... dress up more gal... haha.. it was nice seeing so many of our class people actually attending not to mention finally seeing mathew, yok and alex after so long.. it was definitely worth it... stayed all the way til 6am the following day just stoning thru, listening to other people singing, chatting and for me... napping.. haha.. yep, i slept on the couches for a while.. haha..

Here's to 2007! May the new year be fruitful for us all...

turion at 09:28