damian + turion

turion at 03:26

Saturday, January 19, 2008

[190108] Achmed the dead terrorist

Dashing through the sand
with a bomb strapped to my back.
I have a nasty plan
for Christmas in Iraq.
I got through checkpoint A,
but not through checkpoint B.
That's when I got shot in the ass
by the US Military...

[it's not funny!]

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see.
Where are all the virgins
that Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead.
The only thing that I have left
is this towel up on my head.

I used to be a man,
but every time I cough,
thanks to Uncle Sam,
my nuts keep falling off.
My bombing days are done.
I need to find some work.
Perhaps it would be much safer
as a convenient store night clerk.

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed.
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead
or I'll kill you...

I KILL YOUOUOU!

turion at 09:26

Sunday, January 13, 2008

[130108] some random stuff

I'm a poor poor man. In life, we're always short of 2 things. SLEEP & MONEY. How true that statement is indeed. I never seem to get enough sleep and I am positively sure that im always short of money especially when the gah-men pays me a generous allowance of $450/month. Thanks! You have my ETERNAL gratitude for your OVERWHELMING generosity.

But no point bitching over it, every guy goes through this phase. 9 more months to go. Some random stuff i picked up from Izuan's LJ. Darn funny reading. Heh. Enjoy.

Quoted from Sg.Forums
"One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her."

turion at 20:24

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The last goodnight - Pictures of you

This is the clock up on the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a new born child before he starts to crawl

This is the war that's never won
This is the soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone praying for her son

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Woooah

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab just waiting for the call

This earthquake weather has got me shaking
Inside i'm high up and dry

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me
Every secret moment
Every stolen promise you've believed

Confess to me
All that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we cant win no matter how hard we must swing

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Hung up on your wall for the world to see

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been
What could have been
We could have been

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been
What could have been

turion at 10:45

Friday, January 04, 2008

[040108] Fire fire burn so high, KNNBPCB

Yesterday was a significant day. Final Exercise. It's been 3 intakes since fire was last seen in a final exercise and seeing that our senior hierarchy was unfortunately tied up back in camp, we decided to do the sensible thing, set up fire and place our charges in a more 'realistic' rescue scenario environment.

But firstly, we had to address the problem of not having an area to rest or even to sit during lunch forcing the instructors and PCs to the unglamorous alternative of sitting at the back of the tonner/lorry. So, we did what we could. We improvised and after some simple maneuvering, we were proud to announce the opening of the first ever MTV NSF mess.

It wasnt much but at least it gave us a place to rest, sleep and have our meals. What more can a CD NSF ask for when in the Mandai Training Village? As usual, the recruits hadnt got a clue as to what they were supposed to do so we did what we've always done, we shout at them, scold them and confuse them. Basic rule of thumb - When you cant convince, confuse. And as always, the recruits will always use up all the extinguishers without even coming close to putting out the flames. Leave the firefighting to the pros, gentlemen.

DISCLAIMER: NO RECRUITS, CORPORALS OR LIEUTENANTS WERE HARMED IN THE FINAL EXERCISE INVOLVING SMALL FIRES.

turion at 21:49

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

[020108] i want more excursions

An unplanned excursion to the Army Museum today. Found an excuse to get out of camp and once there, we just roamed around leaving the boys with the junior lanyard boys and us corporals (old birds) went around see see look look before settling for laksa and pizza at the cafeteria. If only everyday in camp was like today. Sighz..

Translated: Normal Secrets. wth is a normal secret?

That, is the coolest beret there is. Way cooler than even the maroon of the commandos.

This is in my mind, the coolest exhibit. Just awed. NICE.

Ah.. the famous 7 core values.. hmm.. where's the 8th? Can do anything but dont get caught?

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your guardian angel

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

turion at 19:52

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

[010108] Dawn of a new year

1st post of the new year. Once again, singaporeans have shown an inexplainable attraction to fireworks display as evidenced by the 160,000 people who were gathered at the Marina Bay area to catch the spectacle. Can you imagine what it must be like to be within the confines of 159,999 human beings? I cant, and i wouldnt want to.

Squashed in a mass of humanity just to marvel at exploding lights and colours in the sky for 8 minutes is a mighty sacrifice to pay. The stench of massed humanity is potent enough to rival Saddam Hussein's Mustard Gas i dare say, and probably would stick with you for the rest of 2008 just in time to for next year's countdown.

I did the sensible thing and spent my new year's eve peacefully. Caught Aliens vs. Predators 2. Felt kinnda cheated. In the original AVP. There were 3 predators. In the sequel, there were 3 also but 2 got killed within the opening 5 minutes leaving one lone ranger (Their version of rambo?) to fight the remaining GAZILLION aliens ALONE. He's either acting hero or he's a loner. The planet / city he originated from LOOKS like it's decently populated but upon receiving a distress signal from his dying brethren on Earth, he proceeded to Earth alone after choosing an appropriate mask from around 20 that were exactly identically hanging on the wall. Gist of the entire show is simple enough, aliens kill humans, humans kill aliens (they tried to), Predator kill both humans and aliens, humans try to survive, US gah-men lied to their own people and blew everything and everybody to smithereens. There is no plot whatsoever in this movie. At least the first AVP tried to have something resembling a plot and story and it did made some sense. This was just brainless milking of the predator and alien francises and i pity the fans of both series as i believe up til now, the Alien trilogy and Predator series were in fact brilliant movies with solid casting and plots. The saying goes, too much of a good thing is a bad thing and so it is true in our instance where they try to do too much with no input from the brain at all. The small saving grace was that audiences were introduced to hottie - Kristen Hager.

Aliens vs Predators 2 - 1.5 popcorns out of 5

Went out with the usual gang in a twin Honda Hybrid convoy. Monk, jj, Blackie, yf, redfox, R, lulu & angelia were all present as we headed to jalan kayu to spend our final moments of 2007. Countdown came and went and nobody was really bothered, the main attention focused on the sumptuous supper spread in front of them. Then it was down to yishun dam to slack, chill, drink and stone in the wee hours of 2008.

Tis the way to cross over into a new year. Quietly, peacefully and with good, ole trusted company of brudders & sistas.

turion at 14:01

Yesterday's memories

My past