damian + turion

turion at 17:54

Thursday, May 29, 2008

[290508] G S S

The great singapore sale is upon us again. those that have the cash should cash in on this golden opportunity and hunt for great bargains. note to take, avoid small shops in ulu pandan shopping centres or buildings to capitalize fully the benefits of the GSS. I've done my part today, contributing a rather significant amount to Singapore's annual GDP and its economy.

HAVE YOU?

but it stings. ouch. lol

turion at 21:22

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

[270508] faith is believing in things when your common sense tells you not to

how far would you let your faith dictate your life?

Is faith that important in our lives?

what does faith mean to you?

Is it even necessary?

Take a minute to think through and answer them. Personally, i'm an atheist. neither proud nor shameful of the fact. I just am. It wasnt always this way, i used to be a catholic (a nonpracticing catholic as i liked to refer to my faith at times until i figured that i hardly believed in what they preach), how in the world did i get myself baptized and confirmed confuses me and i guess will remain a mystery. The problem i see it is that there wasnt anyone guiding me along the 'enlightened' path to 'God' and i fell along the way. No big deal as I see it but it does pisses the hell out of me whenever i encounter one of those zealous kind of followers.

You know the kind when they gasp aloud and shake their heads in disbelief if you tell them that you're either not a follower and god forbids, AN ATHEIST. They look ready to splash holy water on you and perform an exorcism of sorts. Chill out, you have your faith and your beliefs, i say good for you. Now leave the rest of us mortals alone and dream about your heavenly passage ya?

It just got me thinking, does faith play a big role in a relationship? My brother who used to be a free thinker became a catholic because his future bride was a catholic. So at the grand age of 35, he proceeded to attend bible classes, get baptized and confirmed all in the name of love and spiritual bonding. Taking and making his vows in the house of god proclaiming his love and eternal promise to love, treasure and honour his wife and SWEARING (something along those lines) to raise his children as catholics.

Is all that even necessary? I've never been a person of faith so the very notion and idea of me converting to a religion for the sake of love and marriage annoys me slightly. If love is all conquering, why is it that one side has to make a compromise and be converted? likewise, this can be said to be selfish on the part of the partner that refuses to convert but this statement is a double edged sword so what can be said?

Would religion give a marriage more stability? Hardly the case seeing all the vows taken and made in the church, mosque, temple or whatever places of religious worship are as fragile as glass these days just by looking at the ever increasing divorce rates. Would religion make a marriage more legitimate? ROM registers your marriage, the gah men recognizes you as husband and wife. how much more legitimacy do you need?

Think i'll just find me a nice free thinker or atheist for a gal.

saves me all the troubles and headaches.

God bless.

"As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened that we just can't"

turion at 21:52

"In running, it doesn't matter whether you come in first, in the middle of the pack, or last. You can say 'I have finished.' There is a lot of satisfaction in that."

4 days to Adidas Sundown Marathon 2008

turion at 21:26

Sunday, May 18, 2008

[180508] all i have are faded memories

it always surprises me how tender the wound still is after so much time have passed, the reading of old posts did nothing to lighten the heaviness felt but only seemed to press even more weight on an already weary soul. it's still pretty sore, silently throbbing whenever my mind wanders or drifts when not occupied by other pressing matters in my everyday life. im tired, weary and sad all at once.

it seems as though im living a life alone with friends & family if you can understand the irony of it. it's partly due to my current predicament being in NS and working at the same time barely leaving enough time for myself let alone friends or other social activities, and also partly due to my ever increasingly solitary lifestyle that i seemed to have embarked on. friends are always occupied it seems or they always seem to me. now i dont even bother calling or messaging ppl out, with the same notion that they're busy. too much trouble it seems to me these days, just getting somebody to go out with or watch a movie. so much easier to co-ordinate things to do when you're by yourself.

i like the freedom of being able to do what i want, where i want and when i want and yet crave companionship at the same time, having a good laugh with friends, movie watching, hanging and chillin' out. an odd ball of contradictions. i cant seem to make up my mind at times and in such instances, keeping to myself seem to be a more inviting and feasible solution though i feel sorry for myself at times.

silence & solitude.

my life these days.

still troubled by what to do after my NS stint, i am scared to hell over what i want in my future. a cushy job? a financially rewarding job? a satisfying job? i have no ideas and while i am excited about the dwindling days i have left in CD, i dread and fear what i must and need to do in the coming months and years. i think i have a vague idea of what i want to do, problem is that i dont see a definite future behind the first few years and i worry excessively if i would struggle along in life destined to be one of those who tried to bear the burden of life's expectations only to fall along the side and get left behind abandoned and forgotten. if only life was simpler and your life came with an instructional manual and brochure, that would make things so much easier.

turion at 23:06

Thursday, May 01, 2008

[010508] 4 months to go

Nothing much to update about, left with another 4 months. 107th intake of recruits are seriously the most fucked up and messed up bunch of idiots i've ever taken under my wing. They would do themselves and the world in general a huge favor if they all got killed while crossing the road or something - I MEAN EVERY SINGLE WORD. that's how fucked up they are.

I still havent started training for the Sundown Marathon at the end of the month. So seriously screwed. Yep, syarif, me and you can take turns dragging each other's sorry asses along the race. So looking forward and yet dreading the race all at the same time. A ball of contradictions.

My life's a mess. I've been doing nothing but bleaching my free time away. I seriously need a life.

turion at 20:43

Yesterday's memories

My past